-Josh
A crossdressing clown being held at gunpoint by a very powerful wizard
2
Author Archives: Success 5000
Robyn surprised me with a trip!
I love trips! It’s not even my birthday or anything!
-Josh
I may be dying.
Some woman coughed right on me at West Edmonton Mall yesterday. No hand cover. No turning to the side. She walked right up to me, looked me dead in the eyes, and coughed right on me.
I was going to write a poem about it, but I’m feeling far too ill. If this mystery disease kills me, tell Robyn I’ll miss him the least.
-Josh
A poem about numbers
One.
It’s pointy and fun. Depending on how you write it.
Two.
It’s like me and you. Because there’s two of us.
Three.
Sometimes rhymes with tree. Unless you’re French.
Four.
Let’s go to the store. I’m out of milk.
Five.
It makes me feel so alive. Like that drink. Snapple.
Six.
Nothing rhymes with six. Don’t argue.
Seven.
It’s got less numbers than eleven. Which has more numbers than one.
Eight.
Put some noodles on a plate. Then throw some sauce on there. It’s delicious.
Nine.
Nine is doing just fine. It has no problems with seven, despite what you may have been previously told.
Ten.
The poem is at it’s end. It rhymes, shut up.
-Josh
A Story
I wrote a story about a sandwich today. This is it:
Once there was a sandwich. It had cheese and lettuce and sliced turkey and mayonaise and mustard and also it had butter on one side. The bread was French bread.
It was sitting on a plate. Sometimes when I make a sandwich, and I’m going to eat it right away, I just get a piece of paper towel and fold it in half and put the sandwich on the paper towel so I won’t have to do as many dishes, but this one was on a plate. I probably didn’t make it.
I just remembered that the sandwich was made by my old roommate Darryl. One time Darryl got really drunk and tried to make a milkshake, but he put in too much ice cream and it wouldn’t mix, so we had to eat it out of the blender with spoons. The sandwich also had tomato on it.
Suddenly, the sandwich was eaten… BY A SNAKE!!!
by Robyn Slack
Josh read my story and said that he saw the twist ending coming, but I don’t think he actually did, because I’m a very good writer.
-Robyn
SUCCESS 5000 